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I came out on Facebook last night as bi.

This morning my boyfriend’s brother text him asking if I was kidding.
And that it was awkward for him and his wife as their eleven year old son saw it and then they had to explain what bisexuality was.
Then he insinuated that my friend from/at uni (which really narrows it down) was more than a friend.
And then said I should’ve given the family a heads up before just announcing it all over Facebook.

This is the same brother whose wife thinks their eleven year old son is gay and is basically rapturous about having a gay son because he will obviously stay at home and will always be super close to her, unlike her three other children.

This is why I debated so heavily about posting so openly on Facebook about my sexuality.

The friend zone is very real. We have all had someone we were close to that we realized we were crushing on in a big way - but we hated ourselves for it. As much as we hoped and prayed things would change for the better, many of us acknowledged that our love for the other person was going to be detrimental towards the relationship. The people in this kind of friend zone cry while watching romance movies or go out and get drunk and kiss strangers. We make sure to keep a respectful distance between the person we like and ourselves - we are distinctly afraid of fucking things up because of our shitty heart being a complete dickweed and doing the thumpy thing when it shouldn’t.

The Friend Zone is entirely false and is a complete invention made by boys who on one hand get angry if they think you’re soliciting sex by playing video games but on the other hand get angry if you are not soliciting sex just by breathing. The Friend Zone consists rarely of actual friends - instead it’s often people who stare at us in class and make us uncomfortable by constantly trying to talk to us while we’re obviously engaged in something else. These are the people who invade our personal space and aren’t afraid to talk dismissively about the things which we are passionate about - our faith in particular.

These are not kind people. Once I was in a hospital’s waiting room and a woman was quietly saying a prayer for her son. After a few minutes, several other people joined in, linking their hands and bowing their heads. The boy next to me began to talk loudly to me about how disgusting and juvenile it was and how amused he happened to be by the behavior of the “sheep.”

"I’m Catholic," I replied, looking into his eyes, "I think what they’re doing is beautiful."

He looked down my shirt. “You seemed more intelligent than that,” he snorted, “I should have known. Are you even reading that book or are you just skimming?”

I blinked. I wish I had said something like, “No, I’m just breathing in the words and hoping they stick,” but instead I just gave him a dirty look and tried to tune him out. He kept talking to me for the better part of an hour.

Eventually, he got around to asking me out for coffee. I wanted to explain I was waiting for my mother to get out of chemotherapy, that my family was poised on the edge of a terrible end, that I barely knew him and basically already hated him. Instead, I smiled sheepishly and said, “I’d rather not.”

"You bitch," he replied. I watched his face flare hot. "You sluts are all like this. You play hard-to-get faux-intelligent and you lead people on just to hurt them."

"I’m…?" I started. I was scared. He was in my face. His hands were curled into fists.

"You’re all like this," he repeated. At this point, a few of the other people in the room were staring. I was pressed against the side of my chair, trying to get as far from him as I could. He wouldn’t lower his voice. "You fucking friend zone all the nice guys and date shitty asshole men and then come crying to our shoulders when you need someone."

I am not a confrontational person. Panic bubbled in my throat. I felt tears jump into my eyes. I started stuttering again. I was really honestly positive he was going to hurt me - for no other reason than turning down coffee.

This is the difference between the friend zone and the Friend Zone: one is hating yourself for liking the other person. The other is hating the other person for not liking you.

A nighttime story about why the terrible deep Friend Zone, mostly written because about seventeen boys have asked what I mean when I complain about it. (via inkskinned)


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Today a lady asked me if she could get an item we had in store for its online price. She had already been told that we couldn’t by another Robin and she was mad, so she asked me since I’m at the customer service desk. I also told her that we couldn’t, but I explained why: our store prices are set as they are because of local demand, as well as taking into account how much it costs to pay for things like electricity, air conditioning, and other things necessary to keep the store itself running. I explained that if we constantly price-matched the website, which has lower prices because it doesn’t need to take those things into account, it would interfere with our ability to keep the store itself open. She then scoffed and said, “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” This is what all customers say when you give them a perfectly reasonable explanation for why you aren’t able to help them. And I do mean -all- customers. I’ve heard this exact line, often in this exact same situation, so many times I can’t even recall them all. The dumbest thing you’ve ever heard is that we’d rather not do something that could potentially put us out of business? Really?

Ugh. I was on the till today for most of my 11 hour shift (don’t ask) and I swear I had one customer every, and I mean EVERY, fifteen minutes telling me how to do my job, or that I was wrong, or that I had put something through incorrectly, or…..yeah….I was about thisclose to smacking a bitch today,

Ugh. So, I just stupidly posted on Facebook about my day as I’m having a really long, knackering week and my mum’s moving house in 2 days, meaning my family home will finally be gone.

And I’m working that day.

So yeah - I was a bit proud of myself for being awake all day from before 6 am and actually getting a ton of stuff done with my day rather than sleeping half the day away and then crying and blue screening for the rest of it.

And someone posted “lol, welcome to being a grown up”.

Thanks. Believe me - I’m aware I’m not the only person who has a lot of shit to do and no time to do it in, but you don’t have to be a dick about someone being proud of themselves for achieving a level of normality you obviously reach every day of your life.

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